AMERICAN IDOL - "A WORKING MUSICIAN'S REVIEW" - TOP 6 (4/27)

For the newbies, I'm Darci Monet and I make music and teach people to sing for a living. Check out my website to find out more. 

I've been watching American Idol since season one and kvetching about it since season two. I do "drive-by reviews"...one watch, first impression critiques (cuz you don't get do-overs in concert). Thank you for reading, and please feel free to pipe in with your opinions, even if they disagree with mine -- just keep it on a grown up level. Thank you! 

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Okay...now, I love me some Carole King but every time they've done her songs on this show the contestants have butchered them. I'm scared for James this week for sure. I have little hope that this show will contain much pizazz...unless they're smart and search out the hits she had with OTHER artists and not just what she recorded herself. 

Jacob's up first (thanks for playing honey, guess we'll see you at the finale) with "Oh No, Not My Baby." Ok...so I'm following along pleasantly, he's doing just fine...and that's it...fine...and then that breakdown kicks in and he got his church stomp on. YEAH, DADDY!!! That's what I wanna see from him. And the kid's got a great ear...I liked a lot of his improv choices at the end. So it ended with a bang, but I wish he had put that 150% into it from word go. This is a good style for him. Let Cee Lo Green produce his record and there'll be something going on there.

Lauren is gonna do "Where You Lead." Oh goody, The Doublemint Twins are back.  Well...cute performance. That's it. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. Still boring. Oh man, here goes the Queen of Autotune encouraging the 16 year old to trash her cords. But YOU Steven? Well...his cords were born trashed, I guess. Anyway, she's adorable but yeah...I just can't get into her. Everyone wants her to push, push, push her voice...is anyone gonna push her to CONNECT to a song??? She's vacant. Completely vacant.

Haley and Casey dueting, yay! Kinda fun. The best rendition of that song on this show ever. Even though that isn't really saying that much cuz everyone else who came before decimated it. But they sounded good together. There were some really nice vocal moments. 

Friends, I could not care less about tonight's show. Oooooohhhhhhh my gawd, I'm ready to be done already.  And to top it off, my cat won't stop begging to come in, go out, come in, go out, come in, go out. He's fixin' to become orange chicken in a minute.

Oh nooooo Scotty's singing "You've Got A Friend." Snoooooooozaroo! Ok, I take it back a little. That was a nice rendition of that song. I believed him. Heartfelt and a little less country-fried than usual, in his upper register, a nice subtle change. Gotta give it to him.  And he's MUCH better at "the look" than Constantine was. Haha!

A soft, sensitive side of Crazy James. Tremblin' in mah boots, kids. Don't get me wrong...I fully believe he's got the voice and talent to tackle something softer in there somewhere...but will he ALLOW himself to? Aaaaaahhhhhh, there's the rub! Let's see. Hmmmm..."Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow." People are so used to the up tempo version...I wish he was gonna keep it a sweet ballad just cuz he CAN. I LOVED the beginning...but Iovine made him rock it up. *sigh* Gettin' sick of that guy. He did just fine, but it was also predictable. Another tired rendition. The lyric is so sad and tender...I wish SOMEONE would put that spin on it just once. I love James but I didn't get why everyone was licking his butt over this. (Though I wouldn't be mad at him if he won the whole thing, not one bit)

Now we get to hear Scotty and Lauren together. Out of tune. Both of them. Next...

Ummmm...who's the random child on Steven's lap?

Casey is singing a song I don't think I've ever heard. But I'm excited for it. Aaaaannnnnnndddddd so far it's the only performance of the night that mattered. The blues sits on him so well, he knows exactly what to do with it and he's a great entertainer. I loved the musicians circling him at the end...favorite of the night. 

Haley, please don't sing "It's Too Late." Oh thank God. LOVE her little dress. Ok, it's not just her monitors that are screwy, but the mix is AWFUL. Cuz of that, I think she got off to a slow start, but I also think she picked one of the hardest songs of the night and she didn't stumble vocally for a second. I'm just not sure the average Joe is gonna realize that or notice with that horrific mix swallowing her voice up. She's sooooooooooo bad @$$, though. I'd buy her album in a New York minute.

Duet from Jacob and James. Alright...who wants to bet me $100 that if James doesn't win this competition his first stop will be the lead in "American Idiot" on Broadway? Holy screamfest, Batman! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha...I haven't experienced such a thing since I battled out "People Get Ready" with my friend Chris Mitchell back in the 90's! Oh, I miss those days. But I digress and shamelessly self-promote. That was tons of fun for all the wrong, self-indulgent reasons. I loved that the same way I love N'Sync's "Bye Bye" song. Go boys. Don't judge me.

Oh thank God it's over. Least favorite episode of the season. Maybe I'm just extra tired or something. I suspect we'll be losing Jacob or Haley tomorrow night. 

Sweet dreams, rock stars!  

P.S. - I MISS YOU STEFANO!!!  

AMERICAN IDOL - "A WORKING MUSICIAN'S REVIEW" - TOP 7 (4/20)

Well here we go...another week and I have no idea what the theme is. I guess I'll find out soon enough! Aha...music from the 21st century. Hmmmm. I'm a little scared of this one, as I'm not sure the new millenium has produced much top 40 fare that's worth listening to. Thus sayeth Brian Wilson, "Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once and you'll suck forever." 

Hey...I kinda liked bringing back the eliminated contestants (except Ashthon...turns out she's still annoying). It's about time this show figured out that you don't have to actually win the dang thing anymore and that there are probably more steadily working cast-offs from this show than winners at this point. But poor Paul, all alone, with his hopelessly thrashed vocal chords, trying to keep up with a bunch of divas screaming. Oy vey. 

Alright, let's get to it. Scotty's up first (the danger zone, as Paul can attest). And he was "meh." It is indeed time for him to kick it up. I don't have anything more to say than that.

James is gonna do a Muse song. Fun. I'm not worried.  Oh wow, he gets a drumline? Hmmm. I'm not all that sure I loved ALL the screaming, but I suppose he had to do something cuz the song is not made for a soloist. I probably would have taken a higher harmony and played with the melody oh-so-slightly instead of the octave jumping. He looked amazing tonight and his overall performance was just right, I thought. He let the words (mostly) speak for themselves and didn't overdo the stage theatrics. I enjoyed it.

Here comes Haley with Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" and I'm REALLY psyched to hear her take this on (even though this song is getting dangerously overplayed right now). And DANG GURL!!!! I expected her to do just fine but holy moly that was some saaaaaaaaaangin', my people! I was in a rotten mood a minute ago and I feel so much better after that performance. I'm not even kidding. This is the kind of album she should make. Something a little bit throwback, a little bit contemporary. Gorgeous. LOVE. Super cute dress, too.

Judges? Did you not hear the same performance I did? They seemed awfully apathetic about it but I thought it was FIERCE. 

By the way, there's a juicy girl in the audience that I believe is with James' people and she keeps coming up on camera...and I SWEAR I stood in line with her for X-Factor auditions. She never stopped singing or talking or "coaching" the other singers for one dang second. If it's not her, it could be her twin, down to her mannerisms. But she was from Fresno. So what are the odds, really?

And ANOTHER THING...I don't believe for one second that the bleach blondes are really singers. I think they're bikini models lip-syncing for paid union singers behind the big head of Oz somewhere. Disgusting. 

Jacob is going to do some Luther. I just hope it's not "Dance With My Father," though. Aaaawwww crap. Of course it is, cuz I think that was the last hit Luther had before he passed. Well...he got through it. Weirdness at the beginning, like he couldn't hear himself. But hey...when you grow up singing in church you don't always have monitors and you learn to sing in tune by muscle memory, so I'm not actually surprised that he didn't flounder for long. Otherwise, that was as good as I expected it to be. I'm with Randy, it didn't make me jump up and down either and I am anxious for the the old foot-stompin', gospel-sangin' Jacob to come back. 

I'm enjoying the contestants making fun of each other. And yes, I realize that sounded very bot-like. 

Casey is going to do my favorite Maroon 5 song, "Harder To Breathe." I'm psyched. I couldn't even type anything through that cuz it was SO. MUCH. FREAKIN'. FUUUUNNNNNN!!!!! He really put some rock n' roll on it and I just loved it. And man, that kid's got cajones to get in JLo's face and steal a SMOOCH!  Brilliant. Every week he does something new and it makes me happy.

Oh Steven Tyler. Did anyone tell this guy that there are children in the live audience? Dude's the honey badger! Honey badger don't care! Honey badger don't give a @$%!!!! 

Of course Stefano's a flirt, it comes as naturally to Italian boys as blinking. Now I liked this performance just fine, but compared to all the interesting stage set ups the other contestants had tonight it ended up feeling kind of bare even though I think the kid was putting his 100% into it. His pitch was a little squirrelly here and there but I'm getting to where I don't actually care so much about such things anymore (to a point, of course) because everything we hear on the radio is so perfectly auto-tuned that a little bit of woopsy-daisy is almost refreshing to me (note to my students: this doesn't mean you get a pass, sorry!). Overall, I think he did his best but this might be the end of the road for him simply due to lack of theatrics.

Viva Italia anyway! 

(Do y'all know I'm Italian? Just checkin'.)

Lauren is closing the show with a Sarah Evans song. (Dear God make the Doublemint Twins GO AWAY!!!  ). Aaaannnnddddd next. Sorry, but I thought that was a stupid song and this is the most bored I've been with her yet. I'm surprised at myself cuz going into this I thought I was gonna really like her, but I guess everyone else just keeps kicking it up every week and I feel like she's just coasting at best. It's not that I don't like her voice, cuz I do, I'm just bored. I certainly hope she takes the judges' advice and rips apart that box she's put herself in next week (cuz I'm not worried that she's going home).

JLo! PLEASE don't encourage untrained 16 year old singers to scream and yell at home by themselves! For the love of all that's good and holy, woman! 

That's all she wrote. I'm going to bed. This was a really fun show tonight. 

A WORKING MUSICIAN'S REVIEW - TOP 8 (4/13)

For the newbies, I'm Darci Monet and I make music and teach people to sing for a living. I have two albums out, I perform all over L.A., I've sung backup for some super cool people, I've won a few awards for songwriting and some of my students are making great careers for themselves. Also, I am making my very first music video, which I am describing as a "video love letter to the world"!  My production team and I would love for you to keep up with our progress on our Facebook page.

I've been watching American Idol since season one and kvetching about it since season two. I do "drive-by reviews"...one watch, first impression critiques (cuz you don't get do-overs in concert). Thank you for reading, and please feel free to pipe in with your opinions, even if they disagree with mine -- just keep it on a grown up level. Thank you! 

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Okay...it's movie songs week. And if anyone sings "My Heart Will Go On" (though I think we're safe with Pia gone), I might have to chuck my tv out the window.

Paul is up first (which means the show is trying to get rid of him) with "Old Time Rock n' Roll", dressed in mighty fine duds by Nashville's go-to costumer Manuel. THANK YOU Will.I.Am for setting Jimmy Iovine straight - NO DRUMB MACHINE ON THIS SONG, FOOL! Duh.  Now...I hate this song. But I think it's gonna be a good fit for Paul regardless. But maybe I'm wrong. His poor little voice sounds absolutely worn out. Always fun onstage, but he sounded way better in rehearsal. I don't know if it's enough this week. I'm very confused by all the love the judges are giving him on this one. He wasn't awful but he wasn't at his best if you ask me.

Lauren is going to do "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, which I have to admit, is a great little song and I think her voice on it should be quite nice. Hmmmmm. Bored again. She sung it okay (a little wobbly with her pitch on her slides and such)...I think I'm with JLo with this...I want her to go further. I just have a hard time believing her. This should have been an easy song to connect with and yet I didn't feel it.

Stefano is going to sing "End of The Road" by Boz II Men. Bless his little heart, I follow him on Twitter and I think he got a bit of a beating from Pia fans last week, blaming him for her demise (entirely unfair - peepz iz dumb, yo). My heart was happy to see the support he got from Jimmy and Will and I hope he can dig that emotion out and put it in this song like he did back with his wild card performance. And HOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEE! SAAAAAANG. JUST SAAAAAAANG, MUTHAH TRUCKAH!!! He tore that shizzle up, people. Great pitch, flawless runs, wore his heart on his sleeve and left his guts on the stage. Naw, he ain't goin' down without a fight. No, sir. And how cuuuuuute is his daddy??? 

VIVA ITALIA!!!  

Love ya Scotty, but good luck following THAT up, baby! Oooooooh, I'm not happy with the song change. "Everybody's Talkin'" would've been somewhat out of the box for him, at least unexpected. And forgive me...but the backup singers are too hot in the mix. They sound great but I couldn't hear Scotty on the chorus. Hmmmmm. He should've stuck with his original choice. There was nothing terribly interesting about this song to me and his last note was a bit of a butt-scratcher. No disrespect to Mr. Straight, of course. This just wasn't the best of Scotty's performances.

I'm very much enjoying all the crap they're giving JLo for her "most beautiful blah blah." Very much.

Casey has chosen Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy." No Jimmy. No. You're wrong. WRONG. We love Casey cuz he's a REAL musician...America is CRAVING real musicians in the spotlight these days! LET HIM BE ONE! God forbid we give a record deal to someone with skills. Casey starts...aaaaannnnnnddddd a-ha! Take THAT, Iovine!   How ya like THAT smack on the @$$, huh? Polly wants some more? Oh yeah...HERE!HAVE SOME OF THIS, NANCY BOY!!!   Brilliant. Abso-friggin-lutely BRILLIANT. Gorgeous vocals, fierce playing, sick scatting and not even a single growl necessary. I'm not sure that "mmmm" in the middle was meant to cover a clearing of the throat or what, it was a little weird and out of place, but I didn't care cuz the rest was so dang good. Standing O. I love it when the suits are WRONG.  Amazing music will ALWAYS trump crap. Always.

Haley's going with "Call Me" by Blondie. And I don't have anything bad to say about that performance. I just love when she gets up into her high register and rasps on it, it's super sexy and I covet that ability. AND she whipped her hair back and forth!  This, of course, is a required element for rock tunes. Short haired people should not sing rock. Haha, ok I'm just being a jerk! Good job, I thought. I'm also glad she's finally laying off the hunchover. I thought the judges were a little hard on her. It IS a steep competition this year, though.  

Jacob is being forced to sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and doesn't seem happy about it whatsoever. Hmmmmm. I still love his voice. It was a very subdued version. Closing chords were very interesting. He sang his face off. But I have to say...I felt like something was distracting him. I felt a wall. His disconnected is still better than just about anyone else's connected, though.

James is sticking to his guns with "Heavy Metal." I kinda like that Iovine's got the whippersnappers testing his mettle. I think that's what the music industry needs right now...for our artists to be artists instead of products molded and shaped by overpaid guys who are older than me. I don't know if I'm gonna love this song cuz I don't know it, but I know I'm going to respect it, anyway. And actually I LOVED IT! Why? Cuz NO ONE'S DONE THIS S**T ON THE SHOW BEFORE!!! And how on earth did they talk the SICK Zakk Wylde into stepping foot on that stage?!  If you ask me, it felt like a real concert. Well, almost. The rest of the band being visible would've been nice. But hey...I stand by Crazy James' choice. And man, he sure does love to rock. I was feelin' it. 

And there it is. Great show tonight. Personally I thought the weakest performances of the evening were Paul and Scotty. But that's based on a scale of "great" to "amazeballs". I have no idea who's gonna end up going home tonight, but I do hope Stefano gets to stay cuz I think he really fought for the right to.

Now I'm gonna put my face on and go sing a song or two at a piano bar. Haven't done that yet this year! Although I'm kinda in a rockin' mood now...hahaha! Hmmm...guess I'll pull out some blues, then.

AMERICAN IDOL - A WORKING MUSICIAN'S REVIEW - TOP 9 (4/6)

For the newbies, I'm Darci Monet and I make music and teach people to sing for a living. I have two albums out, I perform all over L.A., I've sung backup for some super cool people, I've won a few awards for songwriting and some of my students are making great careers for themselves. Also, I am making my very first music video, which I am describing as a "video love letter to the world"!  My production team and I would love for you to keep up with our progress on our Facebook page.

I've been watching American Idol since season one and kvetching about it since season two. I do "drive-by reviews"...one watch, first impression critiques (cuz you don't get do-overs in concert). Thank you for reading, and please feel free to pipe in with your opinions, even if they disagree with mine -- just keep it on a grown up level. Thank you! 

____________________________________________________________

ROCK AND ROLL WEEK!!! Well a few I'm not worried about at all. Some...well...let's just say Pia better DO SOMETHING this week or Imma sprout a second head. Btw, what happened to all the "changes" we were supposed to get this season...music videos by the contestants (other than the Ford commercials) and all....? Hmmm. 

JACOB - I have no doubt you'll sing "Man In The Mirror" just fine but IT'S NOT A ROCK SONG!!! C'mon! King of POP??? Helleeeeerrrrrr???  But it's still TRES cool that Miz Siedah Garrett herself is singing backup for you on the song she wrote!  I adore this song and he nailed it...but it's still not a rock song. I'm annoyed by that and I'd better not be in for an entire night of such shenanigans. But I also give him props for sticking to his guns in regard to his song choice, which I know for fact is not easy for the contestants to do on this show. And that's all I have to say about that. 

HALEY is going to step up with some Janis. BRING IT, SISTER!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, she did. There were places where she could've held back the growl a little to give herself a break but at least she didn't tiptoe up to the song in general (like Faith Hill did with that nauseating country version she released a hundred years ago - blech! ). She looked FANTASTIC and she I thought she did a very honorable job of a classic song plus she threw in a little of her own thing while she was at it. 

HOW DID I MISS THIS LYRIC CONTEST THING??????? BOOOOOOOO! 

Casey dumped The Police and went with CCR. And FINALLY pulls the standup out. I loved it. His licks are weird...somehow sloppy while NOT being sloppy. But when he's got the bass it all comes together for him. 

OH COME. ON. LAUREN! Wussin' out with Natural Woman. I love this song, but again -- NOT A ROCK SONG! There are PLENTY of songs and artists out there this girl could have handled during this theme week and she goes with old school r&b. WUSS! And sorry, I didn't really like this at all. Blank expression on her face the entire song. No connection whatsoever. None. So disappointing. It's like the fancier they make her look the more disconnected she gets.

So JAMES makes it to his cake round and he decides to slow it down with "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." Ummmm...not sure if this is a great idea. But it turns out I had no worries...that ending came out of nowhere and was SUH-WEET! I think he did the right thing. He's all, "hey, here's my pretty voice, I actually have one...but don't forget...I'M STILL AN EFFIN' ROCKSTAR, MUTHA TRUCKAH!!!" And by the way Lauren, THAT'S HOW YOU CONNECT TO A SONG. Mama likey. 

So we're gonna get to see SCOTTY do his Elvis after all. Okaaaaayyyyy...flawless vocal. Weird stage presence. Can't think of anything else to say, really. (Ryan asks of the squealing girls, "Where'd THEY come from?" Uh...SAG?  )

Christian Slater looks amazing. If he's had work done, it's VERY GOOD work. Way to age, dude. And I loved your last show, "The Forgotten." Just sayin.

PIA, don't you dare disappoint me tonight. PLEASE tear it up! Well, it's a predictable choice...Celine's version of Ike & Tina's "River Deep Mountain High," but I'll be happy if she shakes a tail feather and uses the stage. Ok, no tail feathers exactly shaking, but at least she tried to move a little and she also sang the piddle out of it. And I can attest, that is a hardhardhardhard song, the range alone is a killer. I still would have asked her to put some flats on and bust a move, but it was still an improvement over the last couple snoozerific performances she's given (pipes aside, of course). I just want this girl to CUT. LOOSE! Viva Italia!

STEFANO is going to do Percy Sledge's "When A Man Loves A Woman" which I think will be a great song choice for him. I don't think this is a rock song either, but clearly no one asked me this week.  Man, this kid can really really sing. I thought that was excellent. I liked the arrangement too, starting so lightly and ending lightly, unlike everyone else who comes out balls to the wall on this song giving it nowhere to go. I thought it was really solid. Viva Italia!

This week PAUL is gonna give us "Folsom Prison Blues," which I think will work for him. Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! That was the spirit of rock n' roll, my friends! For starters, THANK YOU Paul for putting some UMPH into the line "I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die"...which is a sick and twisted lyric and should therefore BE SUNG like it's sick and twisted and NO ONE ever goes there with it and it's a pet peeve...but YOU DID. Thank you. One of my favorite performances of the night. AND that's the most in tune he's sung in weeks on top of it. When it's your zone it's your zone.

Oh we're done? Yay! My faves of the night were Haley and Paul. Or wait no...James too...er...well Pia sang really well...then Casey, when you sandwich "bad" and "ass" together you get "bass"...Stefano is just so good...aw crud, I dunno. I'm awfully hard on them and yet NONE of them totally blew it at all. I have no idea who's going home. They're all fantastic talents. Basically, the results shows are going to suck hard from here till the end. I'll be sad to see any of them go.

Back to learning songs from Tiffany's new album "Rose Tattoo" for Saturday night's release party! It's a good album, especially if you like country music. Check it out!